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The Result of Taking Lone Action To Obtain The Desire of Our Hearts

5 Oct

Before reading this entry, I suggest reading through Psalms 22-24.  While eating some sandwiches after a hard-working morning on my uncle’s ranch, my uncle and I discussed suffering.

This last March, I had been in a relationship with a dear friend.  I was deeply in love, and I truly believed that despite the hardship, differences in beliefs, we would be alright because we both vocalized Christian faith – simply trusting that Christ’s sacrifice was sufficient for God’s wrath on sin in our lives and His resurrection proved His power over sin.  I confirmed this before the relationship began. If we were not of the same faith, I was convinced it would be disobedience to God, being “unequally yoked” (2 Corinthians 6:14).

I was advised by friends to take things slow and even avoid a relationship until I was absolutely convinced of her faith.  Unfortunately, I wanted to love her in Godly way so much that I did not give full consideration to what their wisdom.  Throughout the relationship, off and on, something did not feel right about it, but I could never put my finger on it.  A little over a year later, she confessed she was not a Christian.  The complications of the sin allowed in the relationship broke me, and when it did, she was not forgiving.  The relationship was over for good.

Psalms 22 voices suffering I have felt over the last six months.  “…My God, why have you forsaken me?… you do not answer.” I received much criticism from her without any voice.  My beliefs were mocked.  I could not believe God allowed this to happen.  I struggled finding words to describe how I felt until just recently this last week: “God does not love me.”

What is striking to me is verse twenty-three, “All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him…” Jacob and Esau were in conflict from birth.  Jacob was a deceiver, walked in less-than-trusting circles, and even wrestled with God.  Like his forefathers, Abraham and Isaac, he was a part of God’s covenant, yet he was notably flawed in character and his actions.  What did he hope to accomplish with his human endeavors?  As of now, my theory is Jacob sought the blessing of God and would do anything to receive it.

His dishonest actions apart from God are by no means admirable.  Psalms twenty-three dismisses such pursuits.  God is our guide to and through right paths, and there is no separation from that.  Through the darkest valleys, even though we stray from Him frequently, God alone guides us well.

And Psalms twenty-four further fortifies such a claim of His sovereignty: “The earth is the Lord’s and all that is in it, the world, and those who live in it; for he has founded it on the seas, and established it on the rivers.”  Who better to lead us than Him?

It is interesting to me that God is referenced here as the “God of Jacob” and that those to ascend to the hill of the Lord are those who have clean hands and pure hearts. Jacob is imperfect for such a comparison.  He did want the birthright though.

This thought is a work in progress and far from completion.  I look forward for some good critique of this thought with reinforced scripture. What I hope is taken from these few tidbits is an encouragement to trust and seek God for guidance in all things.  I do hope He is the desire of your heart, and His Spirit continues to make it as such. Do not be anxious and take matters into your own hands. The result of lone action to obtain the desire of our hearts leads to sin.  Jacob’s sin created some hefty burdens on himself and others.  Our sin creates messes, a potential of bringing great burdens.  Let us be grateful that despite our sin, God is in control and continues to fulfill His will.  Do not be in want. Let Him guide you and let others see His full blessing on your life.